- Title: Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
- Author: Kristin Neff
- ISBN: 9780061733512
- Page: 455
- Format: Hardcover
From leading psychologist Dr Kristin Neff comes a step by step guide explaining how to be self compassionate and achieve your dreams in lifeThe relentless pursuit of high self esteem has become a virtual religion and a tyrannical one at that Our ultracompetitive culture tells us we need to be constantly above average to feel good about ourselves, but there is alwaysFrom leading psychologist Dr Kristin Neff comes a step by step guide explaining how to be self compassionate and achieve your dreams in lifeThe relentless pursuit of high self esteem has become a virtual religion and a tyrannical one at that Our ultracompetitive culture tells us we need to be constantly above average to feel good about ourselves, but there is always someone attractive, successful, or intelligent than we are And even when we do manage to grab hold of high self esteem for a brief moment, we can t seem to keep it Our sense of self worth goes up and down like a ping pong ball, rising and falling in lockstep with our latest success or failure.Fortunately, there is an alternative to self esteem that many experts believe is a better and effective path to happiness self compassion The research of Dr Kristin Neff and other leading psychologists indicates that people who are compassionate toward their failings and imperfections experience greater well being than those who repeatedly judge themselves The feelings of security and self worth provided by self compassion are also highly stable, kicking in precisely when self esteem falls down This book powerfully demonstrates why it s so important to be self compassionate and give yourself the same caring support you d give to a good friend.This groundbreaking work will show you how to let go of debilitating self criticism and finally learn to be kind to yourself Using solid empirical research, personal stories, practical exercises, and humor, Dr Neff the world s foremost expert on self compassion explains how to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can be healthier, happier, and effective Engaging, highly readable, and eminently accessible, this book has the power to change your life.
Recent Comments "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself"
I turn 20 in a week, and I could not have read this book at a better time. Having been raised in an abusive household, I always strive to live with kindness, understanding, and compassion in order to break free from my childhood. Kristin Neff's Self-Compassion has taught me many valuable lessons, including what specific behaviors and thoughts comprise compassion, as well as how to apply those principles to myself - one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. A quote that shows Neff's [...]
A good book on a very important topic for me. Self-compassion is learning to love ourselves as we aspire to love those dear to us. It is not loving ourselves as being superior to others (i.e. believing I am better than you and special). I have periods when I hate myself, and most of the time I don't like who I am, so this was a challenging read. I have read a couple of research papers by Kristen Neff so I know this book is written on sound psychological principles. It is not a self-help book wri [...]
Nothing new but a wonderful intro book for someone who has no idea what you mean when you say "Be a little nicer to yourself" I also like her mantra:This is a moment of suffering.Suffering is part of life.May I be kind to myself in this moment.May I give myself the compassion I need.Kristen maintains that recognizing our suffering is the first step in learning self-compassion. We can't just keep going forward, pretending nothing happened. And we don't want to through a huge self-pity party every [...]
It's not often I don't finish a book, but I could not get past the first few chapters even with skimming. The tone of this book was sooooo annoying, i just couldn't take it anymore. The author apparently felt like she needed to dumb down her writing a little too much and all her examples were like of herself or other women who wanted to please their boyfriends or husbands or some crap like that. Barf. I'm sorry, but I just don't really empathize with your multiple marriages and affairs with olde [...]
There's very useful, Buddhist-derived wisdom here, and some very practical tips for forgiving and nurturing yourself, as well as great exercises to do. In that sense, it was a very worthwhile read and it's been very helpful to me. I was put off by the author's tone (it's breezy) as well as the frequent referrals to her website and use of her own life to illustrate points. By the end of the book, I sympathized/empathized with her much less than I did at the start.Additionally, the studies cited w [...]
Quite a disappointment. The author is a specialist in the field of self-compassion and makes here an attempt to explain self-compassion to a large audience. The author must be a great person, but unfortunately her book is not strong. The exercises are not practical and difficult to apply (perhaps because I don't come from the same culture?). I found them superficial. The examples often taken from the author's life didn't really interest me. I am already familiar with meditation and mindefulness [...]
A very very important message, one that I need to take to heart. The self critical me still thinks that part of this book seems like sugar-coating for losers who can't do better, but that is more about me than the book. For those who are "hard on ourselves", this book conveys the life-saving message that we must exercise self compassion instead of self criticism, in good times and even more so, in bad times. I am very interested in learning more about the subject and would like to practice self [...]
This book came to my with a huge pile of other books I picked up at the library recently. ugh. that is how I feel when I take out too many books from the library and feel the pressure building as the days pass by and I don't have time to get to them. But luckily, I did get to pick up this book and start reading before the time was up. I wasn't really sure what self compassion is or what it would look like. I now understand how important it is to comfort myself when I am feeling bad, no matter wh [...]
If you're looking for a book that's going to give you a pat on the back, tell you that you're awesome, or that you have a right to feel sorry for yourselfis book is not for you. I think part of me was secretly hoping for that self-righteous confidence boost, but what I got was something better: self-compassion. She won't so much tell you that you're "perfect just the way you are", or conversely that we must un-conditionally accept our faults, but does offer a balanced, understanding approach to [...]
This book is an uneasy combination of airy-fairy (my new favorite phrase) and academia. I believe that's a symptom of this being an emerging field where the standards of how to write about the subject aren't yet clear. Plus, I get the sense the author didn't want to write a popular psych book. I can't really blame her however, those books sell like hotcakes. Then again, so is this one. (#1244 on as I type this review.) I think the keys to selling well with a nonfiction book are:a) hot topicb) h [...]
This very helpful book demonstrates that self-compassion is a better path to mental health and happiness than self-esteem. Dr. Neff is an expert on this subject, and uses a combination of western psychology, meditation, and Buddhist philosophy to demonstrate the method. It's a very enjoyable and interesting read, with personal examples from the author's life and exercises to help you put self-compassion into practice.
Inhoudelijk heb ik veel aan dit boek gehad. Het was precies wat ik op dit moment nodig had. Ik heb erg lang gedaan om het boek te lezen, maar dat kwam vooral omdat ik alles goed in mij op wilde nemen en steeds maar een paar bladzijdes las waarbij ik belangrijke stukken markeerde. Omdat ik ben afgestudeerd in een klinische richting van psychologie met de nadruk op positieve psychologie, kende ik al veel theorieën en onderzoeken die Neff aanhaalt. Maar omdat ze ook praktische tips geeft, had ik a [...]
**Life is better when you can be kind to yourself**Given the fact that we have to live with ourselves 24/7, it’s not too surprising just how important self-compassion is to our quality of life. This gem of a book is certainly a testament to that. In the words of the author: “Self-compassion is a powerful way to achieve emotional well-being and contentment in our lives. By giving ourselves unconditional kindness and comfort while embracing the human experience, difficult as it is, we avoid de [...]
I admit to being a bit of a self-help literature enthusiast. Hey, being a human (especially one living in this crazy 21st century) is hard! If a book can help someone find more peace of mind and skills for living, then I say that's all for the good! Of all the books on my self-help shelf, Kristin Neff's Self Compassion just might be my absolute favorite. I discovered her book through the work of Brene Brown (whom I also love) and watched her TED talk, which I found very moving (youtube/watch?v=I [...]
If we can have compassion for others, shouldn't we treat ourselves with just as much compassion, especially when we are in face of inevitable difficulties and failure? Kristin Neff bring out the concept of self-compassion. To be human is to err. So we should learn to treat ourselves kindly as we would treat others, to realized our life are connect to other human beings and to be mindful of our emotions.I find this a very appealing concept. Rather than review the book in detail, I'd like to share [...]
I always joke that I wish I could eat books and have the stories live inside me, but this book is truly one I want to enter into every cell and fiber and corner of my being. I have always been so hard on myself, and now is no exception. This book is so wonderful. It has research, practical activities, and the author's own story woven through to present a convincing case for the absolute necessity of self-compassion for every person in this world. I want to live and breathe this book and use the [...]
Although some of the other books cover “self-compassion”, this book really goes into the depths of it and explains just how important it is. Since reading this book I have really taken the advice to heart, and I am now practising self-compassion daily and it has made such a huge difference to my life. With the everyday pressures in Western Society this book needs to be prescribed to anyone who suffers from self-criticism, stress, anxiety, depression, or physical illness – so basically ever [...]
Mind numbing. I'd rather be an asshole to myself. Bye!
Esta es mi vida ahora, leyendo libros de autoayuda
I can't begin to explain how much i am in love with this book. It speaks truth and enlightened me on so many different levels. Kristin gave many small simple exercises that we can practice on our own to practice kindness to ourself. She gave many real-life experiences and experiments held to prove her point. Very interesting to read. Basically, the 3 basic fundamentals of self-compassions is Kindness, common humanity and mindfulness. She explains each components very clearly and easy to grasp ma [...]
The core of Self-Compassion and Neff's premise are entirely compelling. As piece of writing, however, Neff's book is woefully uneven.This book's most persistent weakness is the writing, both in tone and approach. Often the book reads like the author is literally speaking to a large group instead of taking advantage of the written word to construct her case. She frequently gives anecdotes that are so flat and tailor-made to illustrate her point they feel entirely fabricated. So for much of this b [...]
When I first came across the term "Self-compassion", I told myself: "here we are with a new touchy-feely self-help nonsense", equaling it with "Self-pity". Shortly thereafter, I came across an article by the writer Neff on greatergoodrkeley/ and then I found out that this concept is a real thread that is woven deeply in the fabric of our human nature. From our early ages, we have been taught to be special and above average, forcing us to feel better than others, to seek the illusion of perfectio [...]
Neff’s definition of self-compassion has been extremely helpful to my personal practice. According to her, there are three doorways to self-compassion: kindness to oneself, common humanity (we all suffer but can support each other), and mindfulness. No high theories. Very practical.She gets extra credits for using her own personal experiences, some of which are big mistakes, in various analyses to show how we could turn missteps and sufferings to learning opportunities so that we can be more g [...]
There's a fine line between self compassion and indulgent self pitying obsession. This woman I feel has crossed that line. It just feels like the woman wanted to write about herself and injects here and there some general things on self compassion. This was more a vehicle for her poor little me pity party. The gist of this is her 'judgmental' husband pushed her away so she had an affair. Then she developed self compassion for her affair especially because the guy she cheated with was dying from [...]
This book would be better titled "A Psychological Framework for Buddhist Meditation."The author, Kristin Neff, has been practicing Buddhism for as long as she's been studying "Self-Compassion," and, for her, the two are inextricably linked (even though she doesn't admit it).The book is a mix of personal anecdotes, evaluative applications of Buddhist philosophy to the western mind, and summaries of peer reviewed psychological research.The only portions of the book that are valuable are the applic [...]
I found myself liking the second half of the book better than the first. The first part of the book was, to me, full of many platitudes and New Age-style exhortations that held little resonance with me. However, I'm glad I stuck with the book. At Chapter Seven ("Opting Out of the Self-Esteem Game"), the writing became more practical and less platitudinous. I found there were many good pieces of advice and several excellent meditations that I plan on using going forward. If you struggle from a la [...]
I heard Dr. Neff speak at a conference hosted by Harvard in May 2012 so was compelled to read her book. Great read on her research on self-compassion focusing on factors including self-compassion (self-kindness), mindfulness and belonging (connectedness). A must read for anyone looking to provide compassion-based therapy. Steeped in her own research and drawing from a Buddhist tradition. Also, a very accessible read.
Almost done with this one. If you are familiar with Buddhist philosophy, the concepts will not be new. She presents the ideas in a nice framework that's easy to digest and relate to. So far, I would recommend to anyone who tends toward beating themselves up. Some practical little tips of how to cultivate self-compassion.
I loved this book! I thought the idea of self-compassion as an alternative to self-esteem was original and brilliant."If one is cruel to himself, how can we expect him to be compassionate with others?" -Hasdai Ibn Shaprut.
A great book to re-visit often. I have always been so critical of myself and have much more compassion for others than I do for myself. The exercises within the book were very helpful. My therapist suggested this reading to go along with our work and I am grateful.
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